Ask Zack

[Zack Fair]

"Heya! If you're looking for information on the questions you have, ya stopped at the right place! It's simple really, not complicated at all. Whatcha do, is just post your question below and I'll try to answer whatever it is that you're curious about! Now! Let's get this show on the road and you start postin' those questions.

Ready?!

Lay 'em on me!

[faust]

Dear Zack,

You're like, a big hero, right? I gotta say, props for fighting in a turtleneck, even if you're a bit too reliant on that sword of yours. Anywhat, my question is this: you got any tips for a guy trying to get some good PR. I hear the heroes get all the girls, but so far all I seem to get is one of two things:

1: Abject fear
2: Something along the lines of "What in the name of Chaos is wrong with you?

I mean, come on! Let's see how heroic you look after punching through the trachea of a Slime Dragon! Seriously. What was I talking about? Oh, right. Being a hero. Got any tips?

Sincerely,
Monk Someone who is not a Monk

[eleven]

I'm not sure if you'll know the answer, but I can ask anyways!

Why do we sound the same? Why are our names similar? I mean come on. Jack, Zack, there's a one letter difference there bro! Was SE just getting lazy or something? Do we need to go knock some sense into them? Not that I don't like my name or voice. Pst, that Gippal guy has our voice too, but whatever. Anyways, brief version of this.

Square Enix, Lazy? or...well I guess I have no other option.

- Jack

[faris]

Right, are we goin' t' go down t' Square Enix an' gut some managers? What are they thinkin', not puttin' us in Dissidia? The men were beggin' fer their sexy pirate queen. I understand ye are known t' have some fans o' yer own. Clearly they need someone else in charge o' their decisions. They even put that man-child from XII into the game. Are ye with me?

[Zack Fair]

Apr 26, 2012 22:35:09 GMT -5 @faust said:

Dear Zack,

You're like, a big hero, right? I gotta say, props for fighting in a turtleneck, even if you're a bit too reliant on that sword of yours. Anywhat, my question is this: you got any tips for a guy trying to get some good PR. I hear the heroes get all the girls, but so far all I seem to get is one of two things:

1: Abject fear
2: Something along the lines of "What in the name of Chaos is wrong with you?

I mean, come on! Let's see how heroic you look after punching through the trachea of a Slime Dragon! Seriously. What was I talking about? Oh, right. Being a hero. Got any tips?

Sincerely,
Monk Someone who is not a Monk

Heya Monk! Bro, alright, so I sense two different questions in this question. First off, it seems like you want to know how to get the girls. Secondly, it seems you want to become a hero. Well, lemme tell ya! You've com to the right place for help! Now...which question to answer first. ...Hmm...well as always, let's go with the more important of the two shall we? Which, you guess it, is how to get them ladies!

The first thing I would like to say, is slime dragon...I understand bro. Nasty stuff right there, and it doesn't seem to want to come off, no matter how many showers you take and how long ya scrub. Before I go any further, I'd like to tell you the miracle for that stuff. What ya do, is get some ladies perfume - I know, bear with me here- and literally drench yourself in it.



Don't worry about afterwards, the ladies LOVE the smell of perfume on a man. (Oh I'm gonna get him good!) Secondly, besides smell of course, would be how you carry yourself. Even if you're punching through the trachea of a slime dragon, ya gotta do it with STYLE. Girls love that romantic crap. So after you beat that slime down, and douse yourself in perfume of course, what you wanna do is maybe try a few hip thrusts of victory. That outta turn any woman on.

Okay, that leads me right into being a hero. A hero will do anything for the people. We live for the people, fight for the people, and die for the people. For justice, for truth. Don't let anyone tell you differently. No matter if we live or die, we live and die for honor. Give a hero liberty, or give him death. But no matter what, remember, do it with honor. Be it beating that slime dragon, taking a dump, or any of the other various activities you do on a daily basis, do them with pride. Don't slouch on that toilet! Do ya hear me?! GOT IT?! Good! And above all else, if you want to become a hero...you must have fangirls, and a fanclub doesn't hurt either. They might be a bit nuts, and their drooling on you can get bothersome, but they'll help on your road to becoming a hero!

-The ever wise, loved by everyone, Zack Fair

[Zack Fair]

Apr 29, 2012 14:59:07 GMT -5 @eleven said:

I'm not sure if you'll know the answer, but I can ask anyways!

Why do we sound the same? Why are our names similar? I mean come on. Jack, Zack, there's a one letter difference there bro! Was SE just getting lazy or something? Do we need to go knock some sense into them? Not that I don't like my name or voice. Pst, that Gippal guy has our voice too, but whatever. Anyways, brief version of this.

Square Enix, Lazy? or...well I guess I have no other option.

- Jack

Yo Jack!

Ya want the plain and simple answer to that question? Good! Because that's the one I'm gonna give ya. Enix made us alike, gave you a similar name, my same voice, because, let's be honest here. I'm the only character in any of the early games that didn't have angst issues, cry like a baby, who actually gained heroism, was extremely popular with the ladies, had that one little thing we like to call P.E.R.S.O.N.A.L.I.T.Y, actually had both his parents still living, and actually did something with his life. Where is this all leading? I'm awesome, and you should be happy to carry on the name that Gippal and I have been paving for you. We're sexy, badass ladies men. Now, you have the responsibility of carrying on that name. Big task, but you've got this right bro? Right!

-Zack out!

[Zack Fair]

Apr 30, 2012 4:45:46 GMT -5 @faris said:

Right, are we goin' t' go down t' Square Enix an' gut some managers? What are they thinkin', not puttin' us in Dissidia? The men were beggin' fer their sexy pirate queen. I understand ye are known t' have some fans o' yer own. Clearly they need someone else in charge o' their decisions. They even put that man-child from XII into the game. Are ye with me?

Yo Faris!

I know, right?! Seriously, whatever Enix was thinking, it definitely wasn't bringing the sexy to Dissidia. I'd be fine with layin' the smackdown and actually getting us in that game. Then again, I dunno, is it really a good enough game that you'd wanna be in it? Enix seemed to do a lousy job with the casting, - aside from Tifa of course, she was droolworthy - including the man child, and that tranny with the crazy tights. I still haven't figured if I should hit on it or not, but it calls himself a he. Guess it's from your world, so you might know more about that. But anyway, I'd say that even if we don't get in that game, we should do a spin off of it, only a sexy version.

-Disgruntled Zack

[Cloud Strife]

Hey Zack. Uh, just wondering... if Sephiroth, or Genesis, came to you, saying they had changed, what would your reaction be? And if your mentor (you know, the one you told me about back then) came back, what would you do? Uh, before you ask, I'm just curious... >>

[Zack Fair]

Aug 10, 2012 16:26:48 GMT -5 Cloud Strife said:

Hey Zack. Uh, just wondering... if Sephiroth, or Genesis, came to you, saying they had changed, what would your reaction be? And if your mentor (you know, the one you told me about back then) came back, what would you do? Uh, before you ask, I'm just curious... >>

Heya Chocobo buddy!

So ya wanna know what I'd do if old fabulous duo ever came back, eh? Well I'd tell ya what I'd do! I'd....I'd...okay let's go with the easiest one first! Angeal! If Angeal came back to me and gave me a schpeal about SOLDIER honor, I'd bust him one across the face, and then help him back up and go buy a round with him, for celebration. If Genny came back saying that he had changed-...well, let's just say, that events that happened between us there toward the end, would make me do roughly the same thing. Those three were always my heroes, and so forgiving is easy if you know the motive is sincere. There at the end, I helped him regain his SOLDIER honor, so if he came back from what all happened back there i-...well, stuff you don't have to worry about, then I would be more then happy to have my friend and comrade back.

Old silver locks is a whole other ball game. There's no way he'd come back, Cloud. You weren't around to see him so much when he was still sane, but figuring out about Jenova screwed with his mind something fierce. If he came back telling me that he had changed, I would be watching out for a masamune to the back. He's too far gone to ever come back Cloud. I couldn't stop him from turning, and heaven knows I tried. So if Sephiroth comes around telling you he's a better man, just run like hell, or distract him with some shampoo. That always did work like a charm!

Zack out!

[kenji]

... Really, Zack? Do you believe something as petty as a bottle of shampoo would distract me? =_=

[Yuffie Kisaragi]

Hiya Zackie! If you don't remember me, I'll take your materia~

I have some questions!! If you could take back any moment, and do it again differently, which moment would that be? What do you regret most? Will you give me all your materia? And lastly, who is your closest friend and why? I'm expecting an 'aww' moment here, Zackie! Don't disappoint~!

Heh, lots of questions. But Im curious about the guy I sent treasure hunting for me Cloud talks about so much! :3
Peace out!
Yuffers [/color]