Shelke audition

[shelke]

Shelke looked around, and she didn’t know anything, about anything else she just looked at the Tsviets, and she kept her expressionless in the face she just looked wanted to make sure that nobody else could do what she wanted to do for real. She paid attention to what the leader said to do, and she followed it to the T. “What should I do today I don’t know I haven’t gotten any orders from the leader.” Shelke said to herself. She saw the Deepground soldiers, she is an elite Deepground soldier she is an Tsviet she just looked at the others. “Yes, okay I will got to the linked to the computer.” Shelke said to Weiss. She finally gotten to the computer she gotten linked to it she wanted to do what she wanted today, but she has a job to do. She just looked at the other members in the group, Nero who is called Nero the Sable, Rosso who is called Rosso the Crimson, and Azul who is called Azul the Cerulean. She looked at everyone, and she finall linked to the computer. “I will be searching here, and you guys go I be fine.” Shelke said. Azul stayed behind cause he is partnered up with Shelke.

“Did you find it?” Azul asked impatiently. Shelke kept searching for the Protomateria. “I’m searching now.” Shelke said. Shelke wanted to make sure that she found it, and the guy who had it. “Vincent Valentine.” Shelke said. Shelke’s eyes turned orange. “We’ve found you.” Shelke spoke again. Shelke’s eyes turned back to the blue color. “Is this the one?” Azul asked. Shelke looked at him. “Yes.” Shelke said. Then when Azul and Shelke finally met up with Vincent Valentine. “The Protomateria.” Shelke said. Shelke’s eyes turned orange again. “Tell us where it is.” Shelke said. Azul looked at Vincent Valentine. “Hail Weiss.” Azul said. Vincent Valentine fought off the Deepground soldiers. “Challenge accepted.” Azul said. Shelke suddenly collapsed. “Luck is on your side today, Vincent.” Azul said. Azul picked up Shelke. “I’m sorry.” Shelke said. Shelke finally recovers from her blackout when Azul given her a mako shot. “You should told us when you have a blackout.” Azul said. Shelke looked at Azul. “Yeah I know, but I didn’t want to be such a bother to you.” Shelke said. Shelke looked at Azul, and she felt like something is missing from her life. Nobody in Tsviets know what Shelke wanted the most she wanted the warmth, the loving hand, and her mother kindness the most. Shelke didn’t show expressions at all, but she wanted to at least she wanted to smile she was taught never to smile ever again she wanted her old life back.

She had been trying to do what she had wanted. Then after awhile she was very much had meet Vincent after what she had put him through. Shelke was very much wanted to help him attack her old group. She was thinking wgat she was wanting to do about her entire life. She had forgotten that she had a sister. Shelke had done a sypnatic net drive to help Vincent Valentine.

[luckydaydreamer]

DENIED

This.... Where do I even start. Well, the first reason I am denying this is because the grammar in your sentences is...somewhat horrendous. You lack punctuation marks where there should be some, and your tenses are very mixed up. Frankly, it was very hard to read and understand.

Second reason, would be I don't think you know the character well enough. You are using scenes from the game and not expanding on them with Shelke's own thoughts and feelings. This is practically plagerised. Also, you skip too fast to different scenes, such as Azul and Shelke meeting Vincent. There was nothing about how, or when they got there. Again, this makes it hard to understand.

Sorry, but you've got [1/2] denials, so you need one more to deny or two to accept.

[ebony]

DENIED

This is just...horrible. You can barely understand anything in the post with the grammar and punctuation, not even making any sense. The tenses aren't being used correctly, and the punctuation marks needed, aren't used properly.

You have [2/2] denials. Sorry, but this audition has been denied.