Post by kent7 on Sept 8, 2011 19:11:01 GMT -5
Huzzah! I had motivation to make a joke-ish thread. You know, for the lulz. Post anything whatsoever you feel like sharing here - a one-liner, a longer joke, something funny from the site or the cbox, something someone you know said. Whatever. Just keep the Proboards Terms of Service in mind, please, when deciding what to post. >>
I'll start!
*ahem*
Three somewhat drunk men are all sitting in a saloon, whoopin' and hollerin' and makin' all kinds of fuss. A man walks in - from out-of-state, by the looks of him, and wearing a shirt that looks just a little too frilly. The men all eye him as he walks up to the bar, sits down, and orders, confidently, a glass of milk. The three men get to talking among one another, deciding they'll have a little fun with the newcomer. Coming up with a prank, one of the three slips outside to the man's horse and unties it, leading the horse away from the saloon.
The other two mosey on up to the man, amused with themselves. "Hey...you the one with the spotted horse outside?" The man answered them with a "Yeah." The two giggled. "Wouldn't it just be a shame someone went and untied poor little....what's the horses name?" "Princess." The man answered. They let out a yelp. "....If someone went and untied poor little princess and she ran off?" The man looked to them, his eyes wide in shock and worry. "P-Princess? Not my Princess!" Eventually, the third drunk rejoined them. "Hey, I think someone untied your horse, sir! Looks like she ran off!" The three just boo-hood in laughter. The stranger, still hunched over his glass of milk at the bar, mumbled something under his breath. "Don't make me do what I did in Texas." The three, still laughing, leaned in to hear him better. "What did you say?" The man pushed his milk out of the way, stiffening. "Don't make me do what I did in Texas." They looked to each other, confused. "What do you mean?" The man balled up his fists. "DON'T MAKE ME DO WHAT I DID IN TEXAS!" The three, now a little bit worried, started to look to each other, before trying to ask the man what he meant again. They wouldn't get the chance, as the man became more frantic, now practically shaking at the bar, seemingly with rage. "DEAR LORD! DON'T MAKE ME DO....WHAT IT IS I HAD TO DO.......IN TEXAS!" He slammed both fists down onto the bar. The three started backing away. "We- We'll go get your horse, sir! Don't-" "YOU! DON'T MAKE ME DO WHAT I DID IN TEXAS!"
The three did their best to calm him. "We'll go get the horse! You just sit right here and calm down! We'll go get her right back!" And they fled out of the saloon, while the man slowly but surely seemed to calm down. By then, all but the barmaid had fled once the man had gotten louder. In a few moments, his shoulders slumped and he brought his milk back to his lips. When it seemed like he was mostly back to normal, the barmaid got up her courage and stepped over to him. "Sir....what.....what was it you had to do in Texas?" The man let out a sigh, wiping sweat from his brow. "Ah, I......I had to walk home...."
>>
I'll start!
*ahem*
-----------------------
Three somewhat drunk men are all sitting in a saloon, whoopin' and hollerin' and makin' all kinds of fuss. A man walks in - from out-of-state, by the looks of him, and wearing a shirt that looks just a little too frilly. The men all eye him as he walks up to the bar, sits down, and orders, confidently, a glass of milk. The three men get to talking among one another, deciding they'll have a little fun with the newcomer. Coming up with a prank, one of the three slips outside to the man's horse and unties it, leading the horse away from the saloon.
The other two mosey on up to the man, amused with themselves. "Hey...you the one with the spotted horse outside?" The man answered them with a "Yeah." The two giggled. "Wouldn't it just be a shame someone went and untied poor little....what's the horses name?" "Princess." The man answered. They let out a yelp. "....If someone went and untied poor little princess and she ran off?" The man looked to them, his eyes wide in shock and worry. "P-Princess? Not my Princess!" Eventually, the third drunk rejoined them. "Hey, I think someone untied your horse, sir! Looks like she ran off!" The three just boo-hood in laughter. The stranger, still hunched over his glass of milk at the bar, mumbled something under his breath. "Don't make me do what I did in Texas." The three, still laughing, leaned in to hear him better. "What did you say?" The man pushed his milk out of the way, stiffening. "Don't make me do what I did in Texas." They looked to each other, confused. "What do you mean?" The man balled up his fists. "DON'T MAKE ME DO WHAT I DID IN TEXAS!" The three, now a little bit worried, started to look to each other, before trying to ask the man what he meant again. They wouldn't get the chance, as the man became more frantic, now practically shaking at the bar, seemingly with rage. "DEAR LORD! DON'T MAKE ME DO....WHAT IT IS I HAD TO DO.......IN TEXAS!" He slammed both fists down onto the bar. The three started backing away. "We- We'll go get your horse, sir! Don't-" "YOU! DON'T MAKE ME DO WHAT I DID IN TEXAS!"
The three did their best to calm him. "We'll go get the horse! You just sit right here and calm down! We'll go get her right back!" And they fled out of the saloon, while the man slowly but surely seemed to calm down. By then, all but the barmaid had fled once the man had gotten louder. In a few moments, his shoulders slumped and he brought his milk back to his lips. When it seemed like he was mostly back to normal, the barmaid got up her courage and stepped over to him. "Sir....what.....what was it you had to do in Texas?" The man let out a sigh, wiping sweat from his brow. "Ah, I......I had to walk home...."
>>
