Two Gun's Attempt At Sanity Files [Private]

[Ethan (Two Guns)]

Entry One:

Okay, this feels kinda strange but whatever. I felt if I didn't do something to occupy myself, I'd return to the old life I used to have before the Turks. Yeah, yeah I left the Turks. Stupid move, I'm sure but I wanted a break. All my life I've been killing for someone else and paid for it. I'll never forget the friends I made among the Turks. All of which I still consider as family even though we're now apart.

It was hard trying to get used to the way of the Turk compared to how things were with the Don. The Don, I'll never forget that creep. The creep that used women and stabbed people in the backs. I'm glad I left that fat bastard. The things I saw I will never repeat. It's just a relief I managed to get out when I did.

Life with the Turks hadn't been all that bad. Sure, I was the reckless one often shooting and asking questions later but other than that I was fine. Gun, Shotgun, Rod, Nunchaku, Knife, Katana, Maiah, Cissnei, Martial Arts Guy, Legend, Veld, Tseng, Reno and Rude. All of those people I considered as my only friends and a make shift family. After all, mine died out some time ago after I had gotten involved with the wrong crowd. I regret the fact it was because of me that my family was murdered. No one else knows this but me.

Well, just as I got tired of the pathetic life in the slums, I grew tired of the Turk life and left. I honestly thought that life would be better for me considering the Slums were gone and Edge replaced Midgar. Boy, am I ever wrong. Life is too....normal. I'm used to the action that of which my past consisted a lot of. Adjusting to normal life isn't what it's cracked up to be. I once got fired from a job just because I punched a guy in the face for insulting my mother. NO ONE INSULTS MY MOTHER! EVER!

I bet if any of my former friends read this, they'd be laughing their asses off. I really hope no one finds this or this would be very embarrassing. I guess this is what the normal life has driven me into doing, writing in a pathetic file so I don't go nuts and take down the general public with me. I don't think I will go nuts but after the kind of life I had, it is possible. So excuse me for making this like some kind of crutch.

Anyways, life's been boring, blah blah blah! I sure do miss the life of the Turks now. Sure, I risked my life almost every day on missions I was sent out on but I had a partner to back me up each and every time. Maybe I should go back? I'm not sure how they'd receive me though after I had left them all. Then again, I hadn't been the only one who left the job behind. Maybe it's because I felt bored without them? I'm not sure, guess this is one of those points in my life where I gotta sit and think.

Compared to this life and the Turks, I at least had friends I knew I could actually rely on and not worry about stabbing me in the back. I had met some guy named Jack. I thought we were on good terms but the bastard was quick enough to bail on me when some moron tried stealing my car.

Anyways, it's late. Signing off for now.

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Entry Two:

Alrighty, it's me...Ethan again. Last entry, I didn't really talk about much except complain how boring life is and how I'm not so great in making friends. So, for the hell of it, I'm gonna say what I've been up to. Of course, because of my profession, I used what skills I got from it to get myself two part time jobs. One at the Shooting Gallery and one at the Gun Shop. It's nothing big, boring even though it's safer than the missions I had with the Turks.

Still, a job's a job! Doesn't pay as well as the Turks did but it has kept me going. Normal life, it's been a long time since I tried having one. I've come to learn that maybe I'm not cut out to try and be normal. I guess my heart's still with the Turks and the more thrill seeking side of life. Lucky thing I'm not the type to go running in front of a bus for the thrill of it. Although, I must admit, I did once attempt that sort of thing at the subway...yeah, I quit because I swear that first and last attempt almost turned my hair white. If Cissnei knew, she'd nag me to death for playing with my life.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm losing it with nothing going on like in the Turks. I probably am, which isn't good but good thing I'm writing here. It might pull me out of it. I've not seen any of the other retired Turks. I knew a number of us had left the Turk life behind for an attempt at normal life but I've not seen a single one of them. Wish I did, I'd hang out with them instead of these backstabbing sleazes who are your friend but bail on you last minute when things seem like they're getting too rough for their taste.

I'm no Rod, that's for sure. However, having a past like him, I'm not one to back down from a challenge. It had cost me a few jobs in the past since leaving the Turks. Even now, I can't keep my reckless behavior under control. You know, I wonder if Rod's having the same problems too? It wouldn't surprise me if he had. He's a Turk I could relate to the most even though he and I use completely different weapons.

Anyway, I gotta make myself dinner. This is the former Two Guns signing off.

Entry Three:

Ethan again. I don't think I mentioned how things were during Meteor and when the General of the SOLDIERs went nuts. Hearing Sephiroth had been killed was a wonder. I never thought it possible having seen the things he did in the past back when I was a Turk. He made the Wutai war look like child's play. I swear that guy was untouchable and fighting him would've been an instant death.

Of course, like any roach you stomp on, Sephiroth returned and was said to be the one responsible for Meteor. I wouldn't doubt it. I heard many rumors in Midgar at that time and how Sephiroth had apparently gone insane. I swear everyone turned him into something like the Boogie man. Every time he was mentioned in a conversation, people's voices would go all hush hush as if they were afraid he'd pop up behind them and stab them in the back.

I must admit it was a shock to hear on the news former President Shinra was murdered by Sephiroth. What a way to go, to get literally impaled through the back by a masamune. Well, at least it was quick. A slow death is the kind I wouldn't want or wish on anyone else...unless they were a scumbag that truly deserved it but I won't go into that.

When Meteor had been cast and seeing Shinra's space program fail in trying to stop it was a bummer. I had thought it would've worked. At that time, I was convinced it wouldn't be stopped at all and we were all going to die. While everyone else was running around, trying to do their last minute things in life they wanted to do before dying, I just sat there in my apartment wondering how fast life passed me by.

Never before did I sit down and think about how my life went. How I hated that, sitting there and thinking about how my life actually was and if it had been a life worth living. It was pathetic! Other people did things on the spur of the moment, even I considered it now and then but always reminded myself that wasn't the way to go about things. Although, it did make me take up drinking again. Boy did I do a lot of things I regretted when drunk. Lets just put it this way, don't drink when in public or you'll wake up finding yourself beaten up pretty good. Thank Minerva I haven't woken up next to someone else yet! That would be...awkward....and scary depending on who it is.

Er...anyway, when Meteor was stopped by Holy and the Lifestream, I gave up drinking again. It's events like these that just make you do either. Anyways, I gotta go, got to put up new targets at the Shooting Gallery. Later!

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Entry Four:

Two Guns again. It's been a while since I last wrote in this stupid thing. It feels stupid still writing here but oh well. Keeps me occupied, I guess.

I never thought I'd see my old mafia members. Don Corneo's men have been nonexistent up until now. It looks like they've been waiting all this time for me to separate from the Turks. Funny how suddenly they've gotten so brave now that I'm not with the Turks anymore. That's the kind of scum they are. Well, I'm not too worried. The things the Turks taught me and the experience I've had since then are more than enough to handle those freaks.

Still, gotta watch my back. Dunno when those idiots will try something underhanded like I'm sure they'll do eventually. I've been difficult to get alone. It's only a matter of time before they send me a letter telling me they're going to hurt anyone I know.

Anyway, back when Advent Children took place, I have to sit here and think to myself just how many times its been since the Planet needed saving. From the time I've been around, I've at least experienced four times of the world needing to be saved. What the hell is going on with the place?!

As usual, just a bunch of whack jobs wanting to 'take over the world.' How cliche, you'd think these guys would think of something new once in a while but no. Same old, same old. I almost considered regrouping with the Turks then but had my own matters to attend to. Some lame ass guy was causing trouble at the Shooting Gallery, actually threatening to shoot my co-workers. For a few days, while I wasn't on shift, he had been causing all sorts of problems. Boy did he learn fast not to mess with me on my shift.

I remember just sitting there at the register and this big muscle head with a rifle comes up all big and bad. He grins at me like he's all it and a bag of chips as he looks down at me. This guy had to be around six foot five or something. He was pretty big and he knew it. As I looked up at him, he demanded I let him shoot for free or he was going to shoot me or pound me.

Of course, anyone who knows me, knows I don't take that sort of bull. Before the guy could even blink, I had my guns out, shot his rifle out of his hands and had one gun at his face, the other at his heart as I asked him if he minded repeating that. He basically tucked his tail between his legs and ran. I've not heard from the guy since.

Anyway, signing off again. I heard a noise and need to make sure no one's here.

Entry Five:

This is the note I got from my old gang. Gonna post it on here for future laughs at their stupidity calling me out.

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Ethan,

It's been a while, hasn't it bro? It's about time you left them Turks. Pity the Don wasn't here to see it, he'd love to have given you his 'blessings' for what you've done, mate. Anyway, to the chase.

Come to the ruins of Midgar in what's left of Wall Market. Come alone! If you don't want anyone to get hurt, then you have until 12 in the afternoon. Any later and we'll start causing trouble.

See ya later, mate!

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Entry Six:

Yo, Two Guns again. Thought I'd leave one last message on this file thing. I'm confident in myself taking out my old 'friends' but this is just in case. If I don't make it, which I doubt, at least I've left something behind to let people know where I've gone. Just settling an old score is all. I'll be able to rest in peace knowing I at least left something like this so it would be known if anyone ever went to look for me.

Midgar ruins, they say. Like that will make my eliminating them anymore difficult. They really underestimate me considering I'm a former Turk. Still, I'll see how big their numbers are and then consider whether or not it'll be a pain in the ass.

It's times like these where I'm reminded of my life in the Turks again. Heh, Turks, almost in every entry, they seem to keep popping up. Maybe I'm not meant to live a normal life? Hell, this normal life business is damn boring! I want some action for a change!

Guess the saying goes, once you have a taste of thrills in life, you can never go back to a steady and normal life. I'd have to agree with that, normal life has no action at all unless you're in some kind of messed up soap opera or fanfiction written by a thirteen year old girl who can't keep her hormones under control.

Heh, anyways gotta go kill a few idiots. When I get back, I'll let it be known if I've made up my mind about going back to the Turk life. Right now, me and my 'little friends' are going to have some old school fun.

Entry Seven:

Yo, this is Ethan again. Bet ya didn't expect me to come back anytime soon, huh? Well, I'm no moron but even I knew I was damn lucky to have bumped into a Turk during my 'reunion' with my old friends. At first, I thought she was Gun but it turns out her name's Elena. She and Elena look a lot alike but with some differences. None of them too obvious except for maybe the eyes and style.

I only just remembered that Gun has blue eyes, not brown. That and Gun doesn't fight as well as Elena. Lucky thing I didn't call her that. Elena gives off that vibe that she'd probably punch me if I did for some reason. I'll have to ask Rod about her, her name sounds awfully familiar. Wouldn't be surprised if she's actually that kid we all saved in the past.

It's because of the encounter with Elena that I am now sure that I wanna go back to the Turks. The taste of the action I just had is too much to pass up. I'm definitely ready to go back. I just hope that Rufus ShinRa will take me back in. Gonna try asking now before I forget, just hope my words make enough sense. Words aren't my greatest thing when it comes to talking to politicians.

Entry Eight:

Well, whaddya know? I forgot to post entries in here for some time again! Aw well, I can update this now while procrastinating on this paperwork. What paperwork you ask? The usual stuff we Turks have to deal with once an assignment's done and over with. Yep, that's right, I'm a Turk again! My encounter with Elena had made me reconsider. I'm tired for the normal life so here I am again. Shoulda thought of this before jumping in front of moving trains for thrills.

Anyways, I found out who Elena is. Apparently, she IS that kid we saved years ago. It's surprising how she turned out considering she made it clear that she didn't want to be a Turk. Now, she looks a lot like Gun except she's more clean cut. Dunno why she didn't keep her hair long, it was much cuter on her. Er, hopefully no one finds this or this would be embarrassing!

Anyways, since returning, a shitload of stuff happened. I don't even know where to begin! Partly because some of it happened when I was drunk. There's one rule I should make clear. Never. EVER. drink tequila! I learned that the hard way back during my time as a hitman.

Why? The damn alcohol is so powerful it makes your damn clothes fall off! It knocked me out so good, I woke up the next day out in the street as naked as the day I was born with horns honking at me and people whistling! Last time I'll ever drink that shit! That's stuff's crazy! Although it might be funny getting Reno or Rod to drink it sometime just to see what happens. Nah, I might be cruel but I'm not THAT cruel.

Speaking of the guys, I went to the bar with Reno. We had one hell of a time. The two of us got into a bar brawl and got our asses kicked out of the bar. Good times! Pity Rod wasn't there, the three of us would've been even crazier!

Speaking of crazy, I went to the beach with the rest of the Turks during a short vacation. It's rare that Rufus ever lets us out on a break like this one. It felt good seeing the other Turks I didn't get to see often because of work. Rod got hell during that time. Elena, Maiah and I dunked him in the water for stealing Maiah's beach towel. Who, I might add, almost lost her bikini top in the process. Never saw Rod so alert before in my life when that happened!

I helped Elena build a sand castle. Don't know why but felt like I could help her out. She was pretty cute in her swimsuit. Er, I need to stop in case Gun sees this. Anyways, Rod ran off and we found him AND Maiah hours later stuck in a hole that Roddy dug up himself! If it weren't for his dog barking up a storm and bringing our attention to him, we would've probably not found them until the next day. Which reminds me, I still need to bust his ass on that one!

We all went to Icicle Inn too. Rod hates the snow and did something. I don't exactly remember what but it resulted in myself, Maiah and Ciss dunking his ass into a snow ditch. He did something to make Maiah mad since she started burying him in the snow after he yanked her AND Cissy into it with him. Poor guy got sick but that'll teach him to mess with the women Turks. One thing a guy Turk should never do and that is piss off the women of the team. They WILL kick your ass!

Speaking of Ciss, I attended her and Reno's wedding. Man did it feel awkward. I couldn't help but cry. I don't know why but I did. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one or I would've felt weird. Other than that, the wedding was a blast! I shoulda introduced Reno to tequila! Nah, just kidding again, wouldn't do that to one of my best pals.

Anyways, now that this is updated, I'm signing off! See ya next time...maybe.